I went to bed with a throbbing back last night. I’ve been couch-bound for the past week so the kitty and I were fighting for space. She seems to have commandeered my side of the bed. I managed to sleep until just before dawn and then I had an anxiety attack that woke me up. I rested for a couple of hours before I couldn’t take the nausea anymore and P had to get some zofram for me.
I woke up craving ratatouille and the house dressing from Paesano’s. I have absolutely no clue as to why I would be craving ratatouille. I hate the stuff. It’s always watery and zucchini and eggplant taste weird to me. Nevertheless, I may end up giving it another go if the cravings persist. As for the salad dressing, I’m just as lost. I haven’t eaten there in over a decade.
Right now I’m on a quest to find paleo-friendly freezer recipes or at least meals that will keep for a week (without looking like goo). It’s so damn hot here, and my nausea has been so bad lately that I can barely step foot in the kitchen. I attempted to make dinner last night and I managed to screw up a recipe (it was edible, at least) and get really sick before I gave up. I talked to mom and she’s going to make some microwave and go meals for the kids so I don’t have to worry about them getting fed. P has to get back to work and mom has rehearsals, so I’m going to be on my own for a while.
I’ve been eying some paleo cookbooks. There are a few that I really want, but it’s just not in the cards right now. I can’t justify spending money on a cookbook when there are other priorities. I’ll just have to save my pennies and perhaps I can get them come holiday time. Anyway, I’ve heard rave reviews of Eat Like a Dinosaur and Make It Paleo. Then there’s Whole9’s book, It Starts With Food. Every single review that I have read praises this book. I for one, want it for the insight. While I am nowhere near strict paleo, or even primal, I do know that there is a difference when I eat clean and when I don’t. And while that knowledge should be enough for me to be stricter about eating, I still fall into a rut when it comes to eating convenience foods. I don’t want to say it’s laziness, because to be honest I’m fucking tired and sick and exhausted and there are times that I don’t feel up to cooking or it’s just easier to grab and go. However, both P and I are at a point where we’re looking at ourselves and our health and questioning whether convenience is worth it. We’re tired, bloated, sick to our stomachs, I’m inflamed all the time…and I’m going to be off and on steroids for the next two years. And I’m poisoning myself daily. I went from maybe an ibuprofen (if I just couldn’t shake the headache) and thyroid medication to pain meds, stomach meds, nausea meds, chemo, steroids, thyroid meds, etc. If I’m not suffering from leaky gut from all this shit on top of crap food, then I don’t know what else to call it. Anyway, I know that things need to change. And that’s what I’m doing. I’m trying to learn how to cook resourcefully so I can have a surplus of nutritious food without making myself sick in the process. I’m going to learn how to use “other” cuts of meat. I’m already pretty good at making bone broth, but how about that marrow? I know that it’s chock full of nutrients. Do you think we could choke it down? What about liver,heart, offal? These are super cheap cuts of meat and I know that liver is a nutritional powerhouse. How can I learn to cook and appreciate these cuts? Time will tell. Until then, I’m going to do what I do best and research the shit outta my projects and worse case scenario? I’ll be cooking up a storm come autumn.